When Your Heart Feels Heavy
Have you ever felt like your heart was so full, so weighed down, that if someone asked you to put it on a scale, it would tip right over?
That’s where I’ve been these past couple of months. It’s not that I don’t love my life. I do. I’m grateful for my husband, my children, my home, my ministry, my calling. But in between the endless cycle of work deadlines, school assignments, ministry events, motherhood moments, and those rare, precious minutes of rest, I’ve found it hard to fully sit with Jesus.
To just be with Him.
To tell Him everything sitting in my heart.
It’s not because I don’t want to, He’s my safe place. My source. My peace. But lately, when I think about sitting down with Him, something inside hesitates. Maybe it’s because I don’t want my prayers to sound like complaints. After all, hasn’t He already done so much for me? If I look back at just the last few months, I see His fingerprints everywhere, His provision, His protection, His faithfulness. And yet, the heaviness lingers.
We’re eight months into the year, and I keep thinking about the word God gave me back in January. I’ve held it close like a lifeline. Every time my circumstances seem to unfold differently from the vision He showed me, I come back to that word. I whisper it to my soul: God is not a man, that He should lie (Numbers 23:19).
But let me be honest, it’s not always easy. It’s hard when your reality doesn’t match your promise. It’s hard when the vision feels like it’s taking the long way around.
This summer has been… different. I can’t quite find the right word for it. I love summer for the slower pace, but slowing down also means I notice the weight of things more. The quiet moments magnify the unspoken.
And lately, what I want more than anything is to take Seeds of Hope full-time, to pour all of myself into the work of the Kingdom. That’s where my heart beats steady. That’s where I come alive. But the reality is… we’re not financially there yet. We just purchased our first home. Responsibilities weigh on both sides. And I don’t want to slip into hustling for a dream and losing my peace along the way.
Some days, I feel like I’m standing at the intersection of calling and capacity. Between motherhood, marriage, ministry, and making ends meet, I sometimes feel myself fading at the edges. The “me” that once danced freely at the feet of Jesus now moves in calculated steps, careful not to drop what I’m carrying.
But here’s the thing I’m learning
Jesus never asked me to carry it all without Him.
In Matthew 11:28–29, He says,
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Rest for your soul. Not just your body. Not just a nap between meetings. Deep, breathing-in-His-presence rest.
I think sometimes we hesitate to bring our heaviness to God because we confuse honesty with complaining. But the Bible is full of people who poured out their hearts without filters, David in the Psalms, Hannah in the temple, even Jesus in Gethsemane. They weren’t rebuked for their rawness; they were met with God’s presence.
Psalm 62:8 says,
"Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge."
Pour it out.
Even when it’s messy.
Even when it feels repetitive.
Even when you think you “should” be stronger by now.
So this is where I’m at, learning again that I’m not a burden to my Father. Learning that He delights in my coming close, not in my holding it together. That even when I feel like I’m losing pieces of myself in the juggling act, He is the one holding me together.
And maybe this season isn’t about producing more or doing more. Maybe it’s about returning to the feet of Jesus with nothing to prove, nothing to hide, and nothing but my full, unfiltered heart.
If you’re reading this and you’ve been feeling the same, mentally exhausted, spiritually drained, unsure of how to bring your heaviness to Him , know this: Your Father isn’t waiting for you to come in perfect form. He’s waiting for you to come as you are.
Because at His feet, the weight you carry becomes lighter.
And in His presence, the “you” you thought you lost is found again.
Devotional Plan: “Sitting at His Feet Again”
If you, too, feel like you are yearning for rest in Jesus I created a 5-day devotional plan to help you find your way to Him.